Here be Dragyns

Dragons can take many forms. For me, personally, they take the shape of Anxiety and Self-Doubt. They sit on my shoulders and whisper into my ear that I’m not good enough. They reach down and pull from their hoard of memories just exactly the worst one for me to think about, and shove it inside my head.

If the movie Inside Out were real, Fear is sitting at the emotion console, trying to press the buttons.

Anxiety makes me worry about things I can’t do anything about. It squeezes my chest and makes it hard to breathe sometimes. To get rid of it, I try to ignore my fears – but when they come back they remind me that I was purposefully setting them aside, and that nothing has changed in my circumstances. Money is tight. Raising three kids is difficult. My relationships grow more strained, or distant.

Self-Doubt tells me that I’m just not good enough to overcome whatever it is that’s making me anxious. And the dragons circle around me like vultures, waiting to feast as I crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head.

So hear this, Dragons. I’m going to keep moving forward, even when you grab my ankles and try to slow me down. I may fall short of my goals, but at least I am moving toward them.

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